Crawleech Town
The Red Weevils have a long and, er, actually unique history stretching back nearly a hundred years.
The club formed in 1919 when eleven failed RAF pilots from Gatwank Aerodrome decided to start a team playing football at Piss Pottage Park.
Piss Pottage Rangers joined the Sussex League Division 2 in 1924 but were declared bankrupt just a year later, to start a regular series of sorties (ha!) into the Courts which continues to this day.
Starting up again as Piss Pheonix FC, a successful twelve year period ended with insolvency after an ill-advised new team strip was worn which had black shirts and a new badge in red featuring a Weevil which was so badly embroidered that it looked like a swastika.
Restarted as Crawly Weevils in 1951, another successful period unfolded, with wins in the Sussex Floodgate Cup, The Sussex Candlelit Cup and five consecutive wins in the Sussex FinishBeforeItGetsDark Cup.
The Weevils eventually went bust in 1961, bankrupt in 1969, insolvent in 1978, and became the first team in England to be deducted 10 points for going into administration in 1990.
Starting up again in 1995 as Crawleech and Whoresham Hammers, the Weevils reached the Conference in 2003 and things looked rosy until Irish property magnate Paddy Poshtwat became chairman in 2006.
Inevitably administration followed and 75 points were deducted. On top of a 40 point deduction for fielding ineligible players and minus 25 points for an unplayable pitch, Crawleech successfully appealed in the High Court that this meant that the deductions had gone full circle and they should start the 2010 season with plus 30 points.
This enabled Crawleech to gain promotion to the Football League in 2011.
Jammy bug-gers!
They gained promotion to League One in 2012, but Manager Steve Heavy left for northern giants Rotherhive, and several top players were flogged on after a punch up over a leech in a club meal, and relegation followed in 2015.
The Weevils appointed the League’s first ever Australian manager in 2017, Hairy “Crocodile” Kewell, insert kangaroo joke here. Struth.
2019-20 sees Crawleech hoping to crawl a few places up the tablecloth after nearly buzzing into the National League.