Steve Teflon, manager of Prawnend United 2003 – 2010
Steve Teflon is one of the longest serving managers in the Football League, and it was a privilege to interview him in his office at Farque Hall, the home of Prawnend United.
Steve has a long association with the Prawns, as he explained.
“I’ve been a supporter man and boy, nipper and infant, baby and fetus. In fact me Dad went to see the Prawns play just two hours before my conception, he worked his socks off later.”
Well dressed in a silky smooth, slippery shiny tracksuit, I started by asking him how the season was going.
“The lads done brilliant again,” said Steve. “apart from the defeat, I was well proud of ’em.”
We spoke about his critics – “Didn’t realise I had any” said Steve with genuine puzzlement.
“For instance, those who question your late use of substitutes.”
“I always try and get ’em on early, but them electronic boards take so long to set up.”
What about using players who appear to be his favourites despite poor form?
“Nah, that’s the decision of Boggy my No2, or the club doctor.”
At this point his coffee cup slipped from his hand but miraculously failed to stain his shell suit.
I asked about players who are often injured. “it’s just bad luck. The physio is dealing with that, and we’ve just taken on a clairvoyant to blame, err, ahem, I meant help out.”
I asked if there were any new signings on the horizon.
“You’ll have to ask the Chairman, the tea lady, the man who shines our trophy or the National Lottery.”
Steve leaned back in his seat and suddenly slipped backwards on the shiny leather.
“The times that’s happened!”
I thanked Steve for his time and as I went to leave, I patted him on the back… but my hand seemed to hit an invisible barrier and bounced off.
Wierd.