Exetaaargh City
Exetaaargh City, this conjures up an image of clotted cream dribbling farmers driving tractors on the M5 in August just to piss off the tourists.
Is this stereotype fair on the honest hard-working community surrounding Exetaaargh’s neat and picturesque city?
OF COURSE IT BLOODY WELL IS!
Exetaaargh were formed in 1932 from reject players made redundant by Torquay FC, in order to play in a benefit match to raise money for injured victims of a clotted-cream mine explosion in Barnstable.
The team had to play in shirts stained with blood and clotted cream, hence the team colours of red and white stripes which continues to this day.
This happy accident sparked (?) off a team amongst the local community which led to the side becoming professional in 1936 and gaining entry to the Dartmoor Dairy League Division Three.
After only 20 years Exetaaargh managed promotion to Division Two and started a rapid rise into the Southern League in 1960, winning the Title in 1962 on the final day of the season when the Bognor FC team bus skidded suspiciously on a manure coated road a mile from Exetaaargh and the team could only field 7 players.
Having made it to the Football League proper, Exetaaargh have rarely shone at this level, with only a promotion to Division Two in 1997 to show for their efforts. And then humiliating relegation.
All the way to the Condomference in 2003, then back up in 2008, now owned by a supporters group who raise funds by selling duff caravans to northerners. (i.e. everybody).
Playoff final defeat to Cadaver City in 2018 means City are still in League Two but creamed in some dosh from a 50k attendance at Wembley.